Since I was 14/15, I've had "episodes" every couple of months where I see words that aren't there, usually resulted in a headache and fatigue, and occasionally (like less than once a year) a seizure-like thing. We never did anything because we thought it was just because I read too much/stayed up too late, etc. After having a seizure and black-out on the night of the 16th that resulted in an ambulance ride and a night of waiting in the hospital, I was referred to a neurologist. Who told me this Wednesday I have epilepsy.
The whole time in the hospital waiting room, I was pretty calm. I prayed for the other people there, and talked to my dad, read my Bible. Waiting in the urgent neurology clinic was different. I was kind of nervous there. The thing about epilepsy is, if the seizures happen only once in a while, I won't know if they're gone for good. The doctor said sometimes there's no structural defect to see.
So now my life for the next 4 mos:
>Don't lean over balconies (broke that rule already on my porch to look at a rose. Fail.)
>Don't stand talking on the stairs.
>I could drown in the bathtub. (To get.....a life jacket?? :) )
>No swimming alone.
>Get a family doctor.
>Two tests (search after seizure):
# a sleep-deprived EEG - no caffeine after midnight before the test, no Zs until after - because all these seizures/episodes take place around sleep/waking - they want me stressed.
# an MRI. I've been thinking I'll play Third Day's "Tunnel" on my CD player before I leave, to get me in the right frame of mood. Whaddaya think? ;)
> See the neurologist again to go over test results, and get prescriptions which I have to take from now on. I asked not to go on meds until after the tests (makes sense to get pre-drug results)
I'm approaching this with a mixture of peace fear and humor, and I'd appreciate your prayers for me. I've already considered the possibility that maybe God wants me to have this for the rest of my life, and I can live with that. Please pray for my family, too; that they will have peace and not worry about me. Thanks so much in advance. I love you all.
God bless,
~Laura~
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Quick Fix
Not even a bad cough would stop me from going to the Kortright Centre (http://www.kortright.org/) with the rest of my class. I was in Grade 4 or 5, and eventually I hacked so much a teacher gave me a Halls (bad taste, but it worked!) If you don't know what the Kortright Centre is, it's a conservation park/educational centre in Woodbridge, Ontario. The weird thing is, I can't remember for the life of me what we learned, but I do recall the souvenirs. Because what would a school trip be without goodies?
For me? A carving of a blue jay. My grandma had bird carvings in a shelf on her bathroom, and I wanted to start my own collection, just like hers. And for Adam, my then-7 year-old brother, an Elliot Moose book. Before he was a puppet AND cartoon show, and source of a stuck-in-your-head theme song, the cute stuffed moose was the subject of a series of children's books by Andrea Beck. The particular book I bought him was called Elliot's Emergency.
In the story, Elliot is running around, having fun, when all of a sudden, his leg catches on a nail and rips it open. Fearful of losing all his stuffing, he tries to fix the problem himself. His friends try all sorts of solutions, from glue to binder clips to string. Eventually, he becomes so frustrated when nothing works that he starts to cry. Beaverton (a beaver toy) hears him sobbing and asks him what's wrong. Elliot explains and Beaverton removes all the clutter and glue and just sews up the tear. Elliot is good as new.
I bet if you're reading this, you can relate to it. Have you been hurt by sudden circumstances beyond your control? Do you become frantic with fear for the future? Does the counsel of well-meaning friends leave you confused and let down? Are you ready to crash? Sometimes it's as simple as accepting that there are some things you just can't fix. But it goes beyond swallowing your pride. You must cough it up at the feet of Jesus instead. Because as hard as it is to admit you can't solve your problems alone, it's even harder to admit that other people can't solve it either. It's the next step on the road to wholeness.
For me? A carving of a blue jay. My grandma had bird carvings in a shelf on her bathroom, and I wanted to start my own collection, just like hers. And for Adam, my then-7 year-old brother, an Elliot Moose book. Before he was a puppet AND cartoon show, and source of a stuck-in-your-head theme song, the cute stuffed moose was the subject of a series of children's books by Andrea Beck. The particular book I bought him was called Elliot's Emergency.
In the story, Elliot is running around, having fun, when all of a sudden, his leg catches on a nail and rips it open. Fearful of losing all his stuffing, he tries to fix the problem himself. His friends try all sorts of solutions, from glue to binder clips to string. Eventually, he becomes so frustrated when nothing works that he starts to cry. Beaverton (a beaver toy) hears him sobbing and asks him what's wrong. Elliot explains and Beaverton removes all the clutter and glue and just sews up the tear. Elliot is good as new.
I bet if you're reading this, you can relate to it. Have you been hurt by sudden circumstances beyond your control? Do you become frantic with fear for the future? Does the counsel of well-meaning friends leave you confused and let down? Are you ready to crash? Sometimes it's as simple as accepting that there are some things you just can't fix. But it goes beyond swallowing your pride. You must cough it up at the feet of Jesus instead. Because as hard as it is to admit you can't solve your problems alone, it's even harder to admit that other people can't solve it either. It's the next step on the road to wholeness.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Chess, Relationships and The Three Takes
Recently, I've been devouring all the Max Lucado books I can get my hands on. Kudos to the Mississauga Library System for stocking so many! (Although I don't really read the discussion questions, I just skim. Does that make me a bad person? :) )
On the up side, his books have sparked like-minded thoughts in me. That is to say, I've begun to see my whole life as one giant devotional. Things I hear, see, say or think about now suddenly reveal some truth, a sudden, "whoa!" that makes my brain stop in its tracks. I can't really explain it, and I don't ALWAYS see it, but after bombing my brain with allegories for the past 2 weeks or so, well, this is what I get.
I could almost write a mini-book about this particular one. Do your relationships look like a pro chess game? Because if they do, you have a problem. As it is the hallmark of good, bad, and ugly devotionals, I actually have a set of comparisons that go together. Let's call them the 3 Takes.
In a professional chess match, the players:
1) Take turns
2) Take time
3) Take each other down
Taking turns: One player cannot move until his opponent does, pushing the button on their side of the time clock to signify their turn is over. Do you ever say, "I reached out to you once, but I'm not going to do anything else until I see you respond."? (Yes.) Sometimes we have to keep pushing on, even when we don't see any results. Just keep loving. Just keep giving. Just keep serving. Just keep praying. Maybe this is a test. Are you in it for the long haul, or is this just a one-time thing?
Taking time: As far as I know, only the best (or the stupidest) players move their pieces in rapid-fire procession. Chess is awful boring to watch when the guy just sits there and sits there. Is he trying to make the best move possible or just procrastinating to psyche out his opponent? Especially if the move is so obvious it's ridiculous. (Or I would if I knew anything about chess beyond the fact that it's a close relative of checkers.) If you're sitting on a move that couldn't be more clear, I've got one question for you; why? It's like a guy who comes to a one-way-street and waits for somebody to build a crossroads. (been there, done that)
Take each other down: You're not playing to tie in chess. You're playing to win. But if you win, the other player must, by default, lose. Now obviously we can't all have what we want, but is victory always the name of your game? Do you always have to have the last word or the best idea? (Mea culpa....well, not always....) We can't all be right, but we win when we unite. We're supposed to build up, not tear down.
Besides Eph 4:29, can anyone think of good scripture examples for this?
On the up side, his books have sparked like-minded thoughts in me. That is to say, I've begun to see my whole life as one giant devotional. Things I hear, see, say or think about now suddenly reveal some truth, a sudden, "whoa!" that makes my brain stop in its tracks. I can't really explain it, and I don't ALWAYS see it, but after bombing my brain with allegories for the past 2 weeks or so, well, this is what I get.
I could almost write a mini-book about this particular one. Do your relationships look like a pro chess game? Because if they do, you have a problem. As it is the hallmark of good, bad, and ugly devotionals, I actually have a set of comparisons that go together. Let's call them the 3 Takes.
In a professional chess match, the players:
1) Take turns
2) Take time
3) Take each other down
Taking turns: One player cannot move until his opponent does, pushing the button on their side of the time clock to signify their turn is over. Do you ever say, "I reached out to you once, but I'm not going to do anything else until I see you respond."? (Yes.) Sometimes we have to keep pushing on, even when we don't see any results. Just keep loving. Just keep giving. Just keep serving. Just keep praying. Maybe this is a test. Are you in it for the long haul, or is this just a one-time thing?
Taking time: As far as I know, only the best (or the stupidest) players move their pieces in rapid-fire procession. Chess is awful boring to watch when the guy just sits there and sits there. Is he trying to make the best move possible or just procrastinating to psyche out his opponent? Especially if the move is so obvious it's ridiculous. (Or I would if I knew anything about chess beyond the fact that it's a close relative of checkers.) If you're sitting on a move that couldn't be more clear, I've got one question for you; why? It's like a guy who comes to a one-way-street and waits for somebody to build a crossroads. (been there, done that)
Take each other down: You're not playing to tie in chess. You're playing to win. But if you win, the other player must, by default, lose. Now obviously we can't all have what we want, but is victory always the name of your game? Do you always have to have the last word or the best idea? (Mea culpa....well, not always....) We can't all be right, but we win when we unite. We're supposed to build up, not tear down.
Besides Eph 4:29, can anyone think of good scripture examples for this?
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Trust; Dancing or Piano?
I've been going to a church since Valentine's Day. It was the first time I'd ever set foot in a church, EVER. Sound strange? Anyhow, I wanted to share with you a thought I had one Sunday.
I was sitting on one of the benches (they have padded seats - nice!) and was watching Pastor Jeff play the piano. Because it's a grand piano, the size of the instrument blocked him out almost entirely, in my line of sight. So all I saw was a guy's head moving around. The thought struck me that anybody who couldn't hear the piano music would think he was just dancing. I had to laugh to myself.
And then I realized something.
"Hey, that's like God's work in our lives."
Do you ever have times in your life where it seems like God is being silly? An "Okay, what'd You do that for? It doesn't make sense." moment? When we don't listen for God's voice or trust His ways, a lot of the things He does in our lives can seem pointless or perplexing. It's like God's putting together a puzzle and He won't give us the picture on the box. But He doesn't need the picture. See, He's omniscient, omnipotent, and a whole bunch of other omni-things we're not.
8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. (Isaiah 55:8-11 NIV)
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28 NIV)
As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.
(Ecclesiastes 11:5 NIV)
Everything that God does in your life, be it "duh!" or clear as mud, is for a reason. Moreover, it will ALWAYS produce a result. God's Word will NEVER be fruitless. Maybe the music will take some time getting to your ears, but you'll hear it, my friend. And trust me, it will be beautiful. :)
I was sitting on one of the benches (they have padded seats - nice!) and was watching Pastor Jeff play the piano. Because it's a grand piano, the size of the instrument blocked him out almost entirely, in my line of sight. So all I saw was a guy's head moving around. The thought struck me that anybody who couldn't hear the piano music would think he was just dancing. I had to laugh to myself.
And then I realized something.
"Hey, that's like God's work in our lives."
Do you ever have times in your life where it seems like God is being silly? An "Okay, what'd You do that for? It doesn't make sense." moment? When we don't listen for God's voice or trust His ways, a lot of the things He does in our lives can seem pointless or perplexing. It's like God's putting together a puzzle and He won't give us the picture on the box. But He doesn't need the picture. See, He's omniscient, omnipotent, and a whole bunch of other omni-things we're not.
8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. (Isaiah 55:8-11 NIV)
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28 NIV)
As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.
(Ecclesiastes 11:5 NIV)
Everything that God does in your life, be it "duh!" or clear as mud, is for a reason. Moreover, it will ALWAYS produce a result. God's Word will NEVER be fruitless. Maybe the music will take some time getting to your ears, but you'll hear it, my friend. And trust me, it will be beautiful. :)
Friday, March 12, 2010
Proxy (lyric I wrote today!)
Whew! Haven't posted for a while. Just to keep this blog active, I'm going to post the lyric I wrote today. I hope it blesses you! :D
Proxy
You wore my prison stripes
My dunce cap was Your crown
Humiliation once
Reserved for me alone
Bridge:
Your heart of mercy proved
Your love before my eyes
For You became the very thing
That You despised
Chorus:
You were sin on the cross
You were sin for all the lost
Jesus, our merciful proxy
You were sin on the tree
You were sin to rescue me
Jesus, my beautiful proxy
You stood in at my trial
My sentence was Your own
I can't conceive of the
Compassion that You've shown
Bridge
Chorus
You forgave the ones
Who nailed You there
You forgave the ones
Who hadn't heard
You forgave the ones
Who weren't yet born
Jesus You chose to
Love us first
Chorus x 2
My proxy, You stood in for me
My proxy, You stood in for me
Monday, January 25, 2010
It's right behind you!
The pigeon bobbed along in its funny way through the Price Chopper parking lot, right past my dad's van. Because I happen to like pigeons, I walked up to it. Apparently used to people approaching it, the bird didn't zoom away, but rather just made its way a little faster away from me. Eventually, it joined a group of other pigeons near the sidewalk.
I saw a man waiting for the bus, leaning up against the glass shelter, just at the doorway. He was eating some chips out of a small bag. When he noticed the pigeons, he started tossing some of the chips to them. They ran after the morsels and snapped them up.
One of the chips the man tossed landed on the back of a pigeon. The bird didn't seem to notice, though. He just kept right on chasing each subsequent chip, never knowing that he already had one. Now I'm one of those people who sees a piece of conspicuous lint on somebody's clothes and gets annoyed. I wanted to go over to that pigeon and knock the chip right off its back!
Do you feel like that sometimes? Missing out on God, whom you can't see, and chasing after all the things you can see? If you can't find God, turn around and look. He's right behind you!
I saw a man waiting for the bus, leaning up against the glass shelter, just at the doorway. He was eating some chips out of a small bag. When he noticed the pigeons, he started tossing some of the chips to them. They ran after the morsels and snapped them up.
One of the chips the man tossed landed on the back of a pigeon. The bird didn't seem to notice, though. He just kept right on chasing each subsequent chip, never knowing that he already had one. Now I'm one of those people who sees a piece of conspicuous lint on somebody's clothes and gets annoyed. I wanted to go over to that pigeon and knock the chip right off its back!
Do you feel like that sometimes? Missing out on God, whom you can't see, and chasing after all the things you can see? If you can't find God, turn around and look. He's right behind you!
Monday, January 11, 2010
Challenged by Grace
I don't have any photos for this, Grace, but I'll give it a whirl.....
What is your favorite candy?
Red striped peppermints :)
What kind of music do you listen to?
Any Christian music EXCEPT all-screaming-no-singing.
How do you deal with boredom?
Playing PS3 NHL10 (if my brothers aren't using the game), listening to music.
What is your least favorite pop?
Root beer.
What do you plan on doing tomorrow?
Grocery shopping and Internet.
Favorite color?
I have too many. :)
What time of day do you have the most energy?
Favorite soup?
What are you looking forward to?
What's your life verse in the Bible?
Tell a clean joke.
What song is stuck in your head right now?
What is your favorite candy?
Red striped peppermints :)
What kind of music do you listen to?
Any Christian music EXCEPT all-screaming-no-singing.
How do you deal with boredom?
Playing PS3 NHL10 (if my brothers aren't using the game), listening to music.
What is your least favorite pop?
Root beer.
What do you plan on doing tomorrow?
Grocery shopping and Internet.
Favorite color?
I have too many. :)
What time of day do you have the most energy?
Favorite soup?
What are you looking forward to?
What's your life verse in the Bible?
Tell a clean joke.
What song is stuck in your head right now?
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